My choice in this topic is simply because a dear friend of mine sent me an email after reading my blog. I wasn't sure what I would write about next on the blog, but her coments moved me.
Also, please forgive me any spelling errors. I certainly can not win a spelling B and I can't find the spell check on this site.
When I was a child, my parents told me never to talk about Religion, God, or Politics to others. They told me that people get too upset and arguments insue, and people who love each other may stop talking to each other due to their differing views. But I am going to risk it today. I hope that those who love me will continue to love me, even if I become a disapointment in their eyes due to my personal philosophy.
It has taken me most of my life to develop my thinking, and I have put a great deal of thought into where I stand today in the matter of God and Religion, and usually I keep it to myself.
Also, please forgive me any spelling errors. I certainly can not win a spelling B and I can't find the spell check on this site.
When I was a child, my parents told me never to talk about Religion, God, or Politics to others. They told me that people get too upset and arguments insue, and people who love each other may stop talking to each other due to their differing views. But I am going to risk it today. I hope that those who love me will continue to love me, even if I become a disapointment in their eyes due to my personal philosophy.
It has taken me most of my life to develop my thinking, and I have put a great deal of thought into where I stand today in the matter of God and Religion, and usually I keep it to myself.
This is what she wrote; " May I take a moment to be really honest as a friend? When you thanked the universe for bringing opportunities your way, I hoped that you were referring to the Lord Jesus. He may take a little offense, in a good way, for giving credit to His creation rather than Himself. It's sort of like giving credit to your necklace rather than you. It may seem like a little thing, but after getting to know the Lord better and His Word, I see all the time where He doesn't want anything to come between Him and us. He really does love hearing us recognize Him as a lover of His."
This made me think. My friend is a devout Christian. She walks what she talks. She is very dear to me. She was a nun but left the convent after 13 years of service. I tease her and tell her that she left the convent to become my personal nun. But I truly believe this. God sent her to me.
I have to stop here for second. I am going to be completely honest in this writing. This is where I take a risk. What is God? What is belief? Do I believe in God, or do I know God?
What is God? I have no idea.
If I could remember before I was born, I may have a glimsp of what God is, or is not; but I can't, so I don't.
What is belief? Belief is thinking that my thoughts on any subject is the TRUTH. When in reality it is FAITH that what I think is the truth, is the truth. Faith is the operative word in all religions. Without it religion could not exist. People have faith that what they believe is the truth; but belief is not the truth; it is just belief and faith. This is where people get messed up. People have different beliefs. The people with beliefs all have the faith that thier belief is true. It is true to them but may not be true to their neighbor. Since they believe thier truth is THE truth, then their neighbor's truth can not be true.
I say why not? Why can't all people's truth be true? Why, because then none of their thruths are true.
There is only one truth, and no one KNOWS what it is. (Debbie's philosophy)
We only BELIEVE we know what it is.
But is there really only one truth? Why can't one person have one truth and another have another truth?
They can, this is called TOLLERANCE.
When I was born my mother baptised me Catholic, and then raised me Baptist. She studied Hinduism when I was a teenager and I became a Morman.
Are you laughing? It gets better, have a little faith :)
I am going to take moment here for those of you who do not know me personally. In order for some of this to make sense to you, you have to know that my childhood was hell. You have to trust me on this one. No details, just know that it was hell. My marriage wasn't much better, but was important to happen. When I left my husband, I went home to my mother. I had no other place to go. And the pain of my life, all 26 short years of it, came crashing down on me like an avalanche; and throw in an earthquake for good measure.
One day, while living at my mother's house, I was in the back yard. The pain in my soul was near intollerable. I was screaming and cursing at God. My mother and our neighbor were beside themselves fearful that I was going to hell for sure. My mother told me I can not speak to God that way. My mother spoke to me with compassion, not anger. But I was angry. I felt abandoned. I told my mother that that God made me, and if he can't handle my my questions and pain then I did not need him. If he were my spritual father then he should be able to handle me and give me answers. I told my mother that I would not bow to a God that allowed such pain; a God that would not take the pain away when I prayed, begged and pleaded for the pain to leave me. I told her that when my body is dead and my spirit comes to judgement day, I will not bow to him. I will stand eye to eye and ask WHY.
I turned away from the idea of a Father God, and found a Mother Goddess. This helped to heal me. I found love and compassion in the old religion of my Irish ancestors. It is the same kind of religion as our Native Americans, but it is much misunderstood. It is Wicca, but is it NOT satanic, Satan does not exsist in Wicca. Satan exists in the Christian world.
Interestinlgy, in Mormanism, there is not only a heavenly father but a heavenly mother. But I turned away from the Morman church. I was devout. But they refused to help me when I left my husband. The Bishop told me that my husband was a batterer because I did not pray hard enough to help him change. There are good Bishops in the Morman church, but mine was not.
I also turned away from Wicca, not because of Wicca, but again, because of the people. The people demanded tollerance but they refused to give it to others, especially to Christians. Also, my idea and interpretation of Wicca is not concrete. I do not think there are many gods. I saw Wicca and 'the goddess' as aspects of life; aspects of power; aspects of nature; not ACTUALLY gods and godesses. I saw that part of Wicca as myth.
I want to back up a bit here since I am talking about why I left these various religions. When I was 8 years old I thought I should go to the Catholic church since I was baptised in that church. So I was going to Catachism. A nun told me that my father could never go to heaven because he was not baptised Catholic before he died. I stood up and told her she was wrong, that God is not that mean. So I walked out and never went back. I set up my own alter in my bedroom and lit my own candles and said my own prayers, to a God that I thought was fair.
When I was in junior college, I took a class; The Bible as Literature. I wish I still had the Bible we used in class. It was the King James version, but at the bottom of the pages was a historical account of what was going on. So it was two books in one; the Bible, and a History book. This expalined a lot to me.
One thing I learned, but maybe not in that class, was that when Mary was alive, if a woman were raped and no one heard it or saw it, then she was not raped at all; and if she got pregnant then she was to be stoned to death. Who knows for sure, that Mary was not raped and then said that a Spirit impregnated her. She was more likely to be believed if she said she was impregnated by a spirit than to say she was raped. And who knows, maybe she believed she was impregnated by a spirit, maybe she was schizophrenic. If a woman today said she was impregnated by a spirit she would be in a hospital and put on meds. And who knows, maybe she really was impregnated by a spirit. I don't know, I was not there. But I love Mary and I love her mother, Anne, and I love Mary Magdeline as she is my sister, and I love Jesus, not because he is my savior but because he walked in peace and acceptance and tollerance, except when he got mad and lost it in the temple. And I love him for that too.
Somewhere along my Religious path I studdied Islam. I made Shahada, meaning I became a Muslim. What I learned there is that Mary was very special and that Jesus was the spiritual brother to Mohamed. I also learned more about peace in my lessons at the Mosque than I learned anywhere else. I learned that if someone harms you or slights you in any way, to wish them peace and walk on. No one is supposed to raise their hand to anyone in harm. I separated from Islam, because I know I am not a Muslim.
Also, along this journey of mine; after Wicca and before Islam, I had a friend who was a Sikh. I went with him to his place of worship. I enjoyed every minute that I was with him and at their 'temple'. But I always felt like a guest, not at home. But I felt more at home there than anywhere. These people had peace in the hearts and tollerance in their actions. I loved the chanting and meditation. I always felt better when I left there. My family thought I was going to become a Sikh but I knew I would not.
So many people on this earth worship in so many different ways. For many years years I have viewed all of the paths to God as spokes in the wheel. All leading to the center where God is. I really don't think God cares what path people take as long as they find Him. Isn't God bigger than that? And I don't think God has a big ego. I don't think God needs an ego. I don't think God is jealous, I don't think God needs to be told that he is loved. I think God would rather people live in peace and have tollerance for each other. I think that would show God that you love God.
Sometimes I may use the wrong words, or no words at all, but I do believe that God knows my heart and hears what is in my heart.
I try to keep peace in my heart, TRY, but I stumble. I try to forgive as I go, but I stumble. One thing I have been able to hold on to without stumbling is Gratitude. I walk in gratitude. I am completely and absolutely grateful for my life and the peace that has come to me. I know my God knows this. This is a far cry from the day I was screaming at God in the back yard, cursing him, and demanding answers to the reason for the pain in my life. And I don't even KNOW if there really is a God. I know what I don't beleive. I don't believe that God has a gender. I don't believe that an old man with a white beard sits on a thrown in heaven threateneing to send us all to hell if we don't feed his ego. I don't think God wants us to kill each other, hate each other, and exclude each other because of the spoke in the wheel we choose to walk. All of those spokes are only guides. Guides to help people find the center.
I have gone into the garden as Jesus did,
And blood has poured from my pores from the pain in my soul,
I emerged, changed yet unblemished,
A daughter of mercy, to serve my God and fellow creature.
I have awakened from the depths of hell due to the kindness of a few, who reached out and took my hand, who saw the flower blooming there in the crystaline white water of the center.
I am not a religious person, but I am a spiritual person. I have danced along several spokes of that wheel and have learned from each one of them. I love the ritual in each of them, they all speak to me. The problem that I see is that most people don't understnad that it takes all the spokes to make the wheel. Any one of the spokes can take you to the center, but not if you can not accept that there are other spokes in that wheel.
A few years ago I found out about a man, Dr.Dyer. He spoke of God, or the powers that be, as the universe. I think he did this to include everyone. Yes the Universe is not God. One thing Dr.Dyer stresses is to ask the powers that be for whatever you want and to always be grateful.
Everytime I have asked for something, it has come, or someone has come to show me along my path. I have had much help on my journey.
I do believe in angels, spiritual ones and human ones. And I believe in faeries, they are playful angels, earth angels, too playful to be heavenly angels.
I also believe in an after life. I would venture to say that there is an afterlife, only because of some experiences I have had. But maybe there is another explanation for those experiences, I hope not. I want to believe in an afterlife.
Do I believe in God? I must, I pray. I say thankyou every second of my waking life.
Peace to all
TTFN
This made me think. My friend is a devout Christian. She walks what she talks. She is very dear to me. She was a nun but left the convent after 13 years of service. I tease her and tell her that she left the convent to become my personal nun. But I truly believe this. God sent her to me.
I have to stop here for second. I am going to be completely honest in this writing. This is where I take a risk. What is God? What is belief? Do I believe in God, or do I know God?
What is God? I have no idea.
If I could remember before I was born, I may have a glimsp of what God is, or is not; but I can't, so I don't.
What is belief? Belief is thinking that my thoughts on any subject is the TRUTH. When in reality it is FAITH that what I think is the truth, is the truth. Faith is the operative word in all religions. Without it religion could not exist. People have faith that what they believe is the truth; but belief is not the truth; it is just belief and faith. This is where people get messed up. People have different beliefs. The people with beliefs all have the faith that thier belief is true. It is true to them but may not be true to their neighbor. Since they believe thier truth is THE truth, then their neighbor's truth can not be true.
I say why not? Why can't all people's truth be true? Why, because then none of their thruths are true.
There is only one truth, and no one KNOWS what it is. (Debbie's philosophy)
We only BELIEVE we know what it is.
But is there really only one truth? Why can't one person have one truth and another have another truth?
They can, this is called TOLLERANCE.
When I was born my mother baptised me Catholic, and then raised me Baptist. She studied Hinduism when I was a teenager and I became a Morman.
Are you laughing? It gets better, have a little faith :)
I am going to take moment here for those of you who do not know me personally. In order for some of this to make sense to you, you have to know that my childhood was hell. You have to trust me on this one. No details, just know that it was hell. My marriage wasn't much better, but was important to happen. When I left my husband, I went home to my mother. I had no other place to go. And the pain of my life, all 26 short years of it, came crashing down on me like an avalanche; and throw in an earthquake for good measure.
One day, while living at my mother's house, I was in the back yard. The pain in my soul was near intollerable. I was screaming and cursing at God. My mother and our neighbor were beside themselves fearful that I was going to hell for sure. My mother told me I can not speak to God that way. My mother spoke to me with compassion, not anger. But I was angry. I felt abandoned. I told my mother that that God made me, and if he can't handle my my questions and pain then I did not need him. If he were my spritual father then he should be able to handle me and give me answers. I told my mother that I would not bow to a God that allowed such pain; a God that would not take the pain away when I prayed, begged and pleaded for the pain to leave me. I told her that when my body is dead and my spirit comes to judgement day, I will not bow to him. I will stand eye to eye and ask WHY.
I turned away from the idea of a Father God, and found a Mother Goddess. This helped to heal me. I found love and compassion in the old religion of my Irish ancestors. It is the same kind of religion as our Native Americans, but it is much misunderstood. It is Wicca, but is it NOT satanic, Satan does not exsist in Wicca. Satan exists in the Christian world.
Interestinlgy, in Mormanism, there is not only a heavenly father but a heavenly mother. But I turned away from the Morman church. I was devout. But they refused to help me when I left my husband. The Bishop told me that my husband was a batterer because I did not pray hard enough to help him change. There are good Bishops in the Morman church, but mine was not.
I also turned away from Wicca, not because of Wicca, but again, because of the people. The people demanded tollerance but they refused to give it to others, especially to Christians. Also, my idea and interpretation of Wicca is not concrete. I do not think there are many gods. I saw Wicca and 'the goddess' as aspects of life; aspects of power; aspects of nature; not ACTUALLY gods and godesses. I saw that part of Wicca as myth.
I want to back up a bit here since I am talking about why I left these various religions. When I was 8 years old I thought I should go to the Catholic church since I was baptised in that church. So I was going to Catachism. A nun told me that my father could never go to heaven because he was not baptised Catholic before he died. I stood up and told her she was wrong, that God is not that mean. So I walked out and never went back. I set up my own alter in my bedroom and lit my own candles and said my own prayers, to a God that I thought was fair.
When I was in junior college, I took a class; The Bible as Literature. I wish I still had the Bible we used in class. It was the King James version, but at the bottom of the pages was a historical account of what was going on. So it was two books in one; the Bible, and a History book. This expalined a lot to me.
One thing I learned, but maybe not in that class, was that when Mary was alive, if a woman were raped and no one heard it or saw it, then she was not raped at all; and if she got pregnant then she was to be stoned to death. Who knows for sure, that Mary was not raped and then said that a Spirit impregnated her. She was more likely to be believed if she said she was impregnated by a spirit than to say she was raped. And who knows, maybe she believed she was impregnated by a spirit, maybe she was schizophrenic. If a woman today said she was impregnated by a spirit she would be in a hospital and put on meds. And who knows, maybe she really was impregnated by a spirit. I don't know, I was not there. But I love Mary and I love her mother, Anne, and I love Mary Magdeline as she is my sister, and I love Jesus, not because he is my savior but because he walked in peace and acceptance and tollerance, except when he got mad and lost it in the temple. And I love him for that too.
Somewhere along my Religious path I studdied Islam. I made Shahada, meaning I became a Muslim. What I learned there is that Mary was very special and that Jesus was the spiritual brother to Mohamed. I also learned more about peace in my lessons at the Mosque than I learned anywhere else. I learned that if someone harms you or slights you in any way, to wish them peace and walk on. No one is supposed to raise their hand to anyone in harm. I separated from Islam, because I know I am not a Muslim.
Also, along this journey of mine; after Wicca and before Islam, I had a friend who was a Sikh. I went with him to his place of worship. I enjoyed every minute that I was with him and at their 'temple'. But I always felt like a guest, not at home. But I felt more at home there than anywhere. These people had peace in the hearts and tollerance in their actions. I loved the chanting and meditation. I always felt better when I left there. My family thought I was going to become a Sikh but I knew I would not.
So many people on this earth worship in so many different ways. For many years years I have viewed all of the paths to God as spokes in the wheel. All leading to the center where God is. I really don't think God cares what path people take as long as they find Him. Isn't God bigger than that? And I don't think God has a big ego. I don't think God needs an ego. I don't think God is jealous, I don't think God needs to be told that he is loved. I think God would rather people live in peace and have tollerance for each other. I think that would show God that you love God.
Sometimes I may use the wrong words, or no words at all, but I do believe that God knows my heart and hears what is in my heart.
I try to keep peace in my heart, TRY, but I stumble. I try to forgive as I go, but I stumble. One thing I have been able to hold on to without stumbling is Gratitude. I walk in gratitude. I am completely and absolutely grateful for my life and the peace that has come to me. I know my God knows this. This is a far cry from the day I was screaming at God in the back yard, cursing him, and demanding answers to the reason for the pain in my life. And I don't even KNOW if there really is a God. I know what I don't beleive. I don't believe that God has a gender. I don't believe that an old man with a white beard sits on a thrown in heaven threateneing to send us all to hell if we don't feed his ego. I don't think God wants us to kill each other, hate each other, and exclude each other because of the spoke in the wheel we choose to walk. All of those spokes are only guides. Guides to help people find the center.
I have gone into the garden as Jesus did,
And blood has poured from my pores from the pain in my soul,
I emerged, changed yet unblemished,
A daughter of mercy, to serve my God and fellow creature.
I have awakened from the depths of hell due to the kindness of a few, who reached out and took my hand, who saw the flower blooming there in the crystaline white water of the center.
I am not a religious person, but I am a spiritual person. I have danced along several spokes of that wheel and have learned from each one of them. I love the ritual in each of them, they all speak to me. The problem that I see is that most people don't understnad that it takes all the spokes to make the wheel. Any one of the spokes can take you to the center, but not if you can not accept that there are other spokes in that wheel.
A few years ago I found out about a man, Dr.Dyer. He spoke of God, or the powers that be, as the universe. I think he did this to include everyone. Yes the Universe is not God. One thing Dr.Dyer stresses is to ask the powers that be for whatever you want and to always be grateful.
Everytime I have asked for something, it has come, or someone has come to show me along my path. I have had much help on my journey.
I do believe in angels, spiritual ones and human ones. And I believe in faeries, they are playful angels, earth angels, too playful to be heavenly angels.
I also believe in an after life. I would venture to say that there is an afterlife, only because of some experiences I have had. But maybe there is another explanation for those experiences, I hope not. I want to believe in an afterlife.
Do I believe in God? I must, I pray. I say thankyou every second of my waking life.
Peace to all
TTFN
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